


What the Universe is Telling me

by orphan_account



Category: Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli
Genre: A gay character has a bad coming out experience, A gay charcter gets publicly outed so BE AWARE, Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, POV Bram Greenfeld, a lot of fluff, no emails AU, no emails but so much texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-25
Updated: 2018-08-27
Packaged: 2019-07-02 11:28:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15795588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: An AU where Bram lives in Georgia with his mother, and when he Comes Out it doesn’t go well. At all.In fact, it’s a monumental disaster because now he’s being shipped to California, to his father. Bram is never going to come out again. Obviously, the universe is telling him that the closet really is the best place for him.





	1. New New New

**Author's Note:**

> Bold is texting

Fear rolls around in my stomach as I tap my foot and wait for my dad and step-mom, Rachel, to pick me up. The look in my mother’s eyes has been playing on repeat for 48 hours now. And the way she hasn’t spoken a word to me since I came out to her. She just handed me a ticket to California.

So, here I am. In an airport, mid-way through junior year about to start a new life.

Oh, and Dad knows. So, there’s always the possibility that things will be just as bad here.

I spot dad walking toward me and stand but before I can reach for my bag my dad pulls me into a hug.

Rachel says, “It’s so good to see you again, sweetie!”

***

When they get to the house Rachel politely slips off, saying something about gardening, and my dad takes my bags the room I always stay in when I visit, blue wallpaper, black bedsheets, and a huge window with a view of the Golden Gate Bridge. There’s a desk now, with a box wrapped in gold paper on top.

My dad shuts the door and I look at him wearily.

“Bram, I just want you to know that I love you know matter what, and I know you haven’t told me yet, so it’s up to you when you want to talk abut it.” He puts his hand on my shoulder and squeezes, “and Rachel doesn’t know.  She knows that your mother sent you here, but I’ve asked her not to pry about why. We’re just happy your here.”

A lump forms in my throat, so all I can do is nod and hug him.

“Thanks.”

Because I’m really not ready to talk about it.

When the hug ends my dad gestures to the package on my new desk, “we weren’t sure what you’d be bringing with you,” and he eyes the single suitcase, “and we thought it might take the edge off.”

“M—I have box of stuff that’s being shipped. Mostly just books and some of my soccer stuff.”

He smiles a little, “okay, take your time in here.”

***

I don’t unpack, I’ll make myself do it tomorrow, but for now I go to the desk and lift the tag on the package.

**“We’re so glad to have you!”**

**< 3 Rachel. **

It’s wrapped so that I can lift the lid without ripping the paper off. Everything Rachel wraps is like that. She reuses the boxes.

Inside is a laptop. A shiny chrome color MacBook. I had a desktop back a home, it used to turn on and whir in the middle of the night. I lift it out of the box and peel off the protective plastic.

***

I make it out into the living room an hour later, my dad and Rachel are sitting on the couch, chatting about work. Rachel smiles when she sees me.

“Bram! I was planning on ordering in, anything you want.”

I’ve never had anything against Rachel, butI only see her on holidays, or long weekends. She’s sweet, but it feels like she’s always going out of her way to appease me. I don’t know how that’s going to work out with me living here.

“Is pizza okay?”

She smiles and picks her laptop off the coffee table and goes to google.

“What kind?”

“Anything that’s good.”

“There’s this adorable local place, how’s that?”

I just nod, shoving my hands into my pockets, “thank you for the laptop.”

“We don’t have a desktop here,” his dad says, “it’s only practical.”

***

The weekend goes about as well I could hope for. I spend a lot of time listening to music and setting up my laptop. And less time than I should unpacking and preparing for school. A new school.

My dad goes with me, not just drives me, but goes in with me and everything to handle my transcripts. It’s incredibly awkward.

Then, he lets me know to call if I need him and I’m left standing outside first period English. The door reads AP LIT, Mr. Wise.

Surprisingly there isn’t any drama about me joining the class. I just hand Mr. Wise my slip, he nods to an empty seat near the back and I sit down.

I’m in the back row, but behind me there’s a couch. And actual, huge, couch. On it there’s a bunch of kids; two boys wearing soccer jerseys and a girl in a black dress with the milky way galaxy printed on it. And all the way at the end there’s quite possibly the cutest boy I’ve ever seen. He’s got messy blonde hair, grey eyes lit up with laugher and these adorable black rimmed glasses. He makes my heart stutter then stop, because of the girl next to him. She’s objectively gorgeous, these Disney-princess brown eyes and she’s currently half-on his lap. He leans back and whispers something in her ear, and it makes her face light up. She pokes his cheek and pulls her phone out.

The rest of the group is so blasé about it, so it must be a common occurrence.

Class is otherwise uneventful, there’s an essay due next week, and after class Mr. Wise gives me the rubric and says mine won’t be due for three weeks.

It’s nice of him but I know I’ll just turn it in on time anyway.

***

At lunch I plan on awkwardly hiding out behind the school, but Disney-princess eyes materializes at my locker. I have no clue how she realized where my locker was, but she has this knowing smile.

“I’m Abby.”

“I’m Bram.”

“I’m new too, I started at the beginning of the year.”

“oh,” and I don’t really know what to say to that, she obviously has friends.

“Anyway, I know it kind of sucks, and I’m here to drag you to our lunch table. Unless you already have plans.”

And it’s probably the worst idea in the whole world to follow her, because I get tongue tied around cute boys, but I don’t any better ideas so I do.

“This is Bram,” Abby announces to the table, immediately sliding into the spot next to the cute one. Galaxy girl has to shift over to make it happen. The rest of the couch group is on the other side of the table, along with two other girls.

“I’m Simon!” His moon-grey eyes fix on me and he holds eye contact for longer than I’m expecting. My words get lost somewhere in my throat, so I just stand there. Until galaxy girl grabs my hand and tugs me down.

“I’m Leah,” she rolls her eyes, it’s not the one most people do, she just cuts them to the side. It doesn’t feel like she’s annoyed at me. It’s like it’s meant to Simon.

She lets go as soon as I’m sitting, then Abby’s hand disappears under the table, a moment later, so does Leah’s.

“I’m Garret,” one of the jocks says then nods his head to the guy sitting next to him, “this is Nick.”

Nick smiles, his mouth full and nods.

“Oh,” the two girls at the end look up and mutter, “Anna.”

“Morgan.”

Simon is sitting three people down from me, his arm slug around Abby. She’s small enough that his hand reaches Leah, and he sort of drums is fingers on her shoulders.

Okay. Wow.

But then Abby rests her head on Leah’s shoulder and I’m more confused than ever.

Across the table Garret kind of chuckles then says, “they’re together.”

_Who?_

Leah looks up, her eyes shooting to me, and she says, “please tell me you don’t have a problem with gay people.”

Oh. _Ooh._

Simon blushes.

“No!” I stare down at my hands, “I-I didn’t...”

“It’s okay,” then Abby smiles and jokes, “People tend to think Simon and I are together for some reason.”

“It’s because they assume straight is the default.” Simon says.

“and you’re ridiculously affectionate, Spier.”

He just shrugs.

***

By Thursday, I’m used to the lunch table dynamic. Even though I still can’t force more than a word or two out. They don’t seem to mind all that much. It’s halfway through lunch when Simon shoots straight up and slaps his hand over his forehead.

“I’m an idiot!” He blurts out, and without clarifying he jumps up and runs out of the lunchroom. Leah reaches over to steal his fries.

“Anyway,” Nick turns to Garret, “Are you ready for tryouts?”

Garret gets this cock-sure smile and says, “Duh.”

“What are the tryouts for?”

Funny how without Simon at the table I can suddenly find my voice just fine.

“Woah,” Garret grins in a kind way, “he speaks!”

“Soccer tryouts,” Nick clarifies, “this Friday, do you play?”

“I did at my old school.”

“dude,” Garret reaches over the table and takes some of Simon’s fries too, “come tryout! We need more people.”

***

Rachel is downright giddy that night when I tell dad and her that I’m trying out for soccer tomorrow.

She’s so happy that she flicks pasta sauce onto the wall, and my dad has to reach over and take the spoon away from her. Dad and Rachel cook dinner together almost every night. Rachel’s a good cook, but she’s unreasonably messy, so dad chops vegetables and goes after her cleaning dishes. He doesn’t even look put out about it. He has this kind of smile when they bump into each other.

“Oh my! Do you need anything?” She puts the lid back on the sauce, “Your other box hasn’t come yet...”

“I have some stuff, I’ll be okay for tryouts.”

“You’ll do great.”

“Break a leg,” my dad adds.

“That’s a theater term.” I point out.

He shrugs, and I smile.

“Did you want me to read over the essay you wrote? You said it was due tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” I run a hand though my hair, “I finished it yesterday, it would be nice if you looked over it.”

Dad used to read all my turned in assignments the few times a year when we saw each other, but it’s a little nice that he can read over it before I turn it in.

***

The next day Nick and Garret pat a saved seat on the couch in English, and I squeeze myself in. When I hand my essay in, Simon leans over and says,

“You’re the quiet genius type, aren’t you?”

I just blush and stutter out a, “I don’t know.”

Simon grins, and says, “hey no need to be embarrassed.”

And I don’t know what to do with myself while he’s smiling at me.

***

I’m getting pretty excited for tryouts, because the guys seem cool, and I genuinely like being part of a team. then, half-way through lunch the PA system crackles on.

 

_All dudes of Creekwood, Simon Spier is supremely gay and open for business. Interested parties may contact Simon directly to discuss arrangements for anal buttsex. But don’t give him blue balls. Ladies need not apply. That is all._

 

The entire room freezes during the announcement. Leah almost turns the table over she’s in such a hurry to stand up. Abby and Nick lean in to check if Simon is okay.

And for a second he just sits there, this horrified expression frozen on his face. Then, he just goes blank, like everything flickers out and he stands slowly.

A couple guys start to catcall him across the room, but Leah and Abby galore and they shut up. Then Simon is running out of the room.

I can just see tears fall before he’s out the door.

I don’t even think twice, I run after him.

He’s sitting in the parking lot, I can see his chest heaving.

“Hey,” I don’t know why but the words come out a little easier now.

Simon looks up, he’s not wearing his glasses, and his eyes are red. He squints for a moment then shoves his glasses back to his face.

“Hi Bram,” he sighs, “look I’m really not in the—“

“I’m gay,” I blurt out. And I want to panic or run away, because those two words pretty much spell out disaster for me.

Simon blinks up at me, “if this is a joke it’s really not funny.”

I shut my eyes, it’s easier, “I’m gay. I told my mom, and she shipped me off without another word because the idea made her so sick. That’s why I’m here. So, I guess what I’m saying is I get it. I get what it feels like to be drowning. To be in this huge ocean and all you want is a shore to swim to, but how do you know if any of the shores are safe?”

I open my eyes, Simon is staring up at me hanging on my words.

“So, if you need a shore, I promise, I won’t throw you back in. I understand.”

Simon stands up, he’s not crying anymore. There’re lines down his face though, where the salt is turning his skin red.

He gulps, “I have never related to anything as much as I relate to that.”

I shrug.

He takes a piece of paper out, scribbles on it and hands it to me timidly.

“I can’t imagine how much that must have sucked, if you need to talk I’m here too.”

It’s a phone number, so I pull my phone out and type it in then text it.

**Bram: I’m sure you can imagine.**

Simon looks down at his phone and frowns.

**Simon: yeah, I guess I can**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry sorry sorry! I lOVE Bram's mom in the book but it was the only way this idea would work.  
> This WAS going to be a oneshot but I rambled and more happened than I expected and THE BOYS DESERVE HAPPINESS so this will be somewhere from 3-5 chapters now.  
> "All dudes of Creekwood, Simon Spier is supremely gay and open for business. Interested parties may contact Simon directly to discuss arrangements for anal buttsex. But don’t give him blue balls. Ladies need not apply. That is all." is taken almost verbatum from Martin in SVTHSA
> 
> also: this story has the bare minimum editing, because otherwise I'll talk myself out of posting. so.


	2. Texting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just some texting fluff :)  
> the next chapter will have more relevance to the "plot"

I go to tryouts, and even with the anger I make the team. Or maybe the anger just helps. I’m not usually an angry person, but I really feel for Simon. 

Nick and Garret seem to have come to a verdict, because they both give me their phone numbers and Nick says “Simon’s been my friend since, well forever, so whatever you said to him thank you. Because he was almost okay.” 

When I turn my phone on after practice to but their numbers in there’s several missed messages all fro Simon: 

**Okay, I think I should set some things straight (wow, poor choice of words there)**

  1. **I’m not ashamed of being gay, I just wasn’t ready for the whole freaking universe to know.**
  2. **My family will probably be okay with it. My mom is about the biggest liberal you can be, she makes “down with the patriarchy” posters. My Dad was a jock in high school, but he goes to parades with her and cries at cute dog videos. My sister already knows... I mean she goes to the same school. But she’s cool. So it’s not that I’m worried they’ll hate me it’s just... they make a Big Deal** ™️ **out of it. (Which is stupid to complain about when I know what happened to you. I am so freaking sorry, Bram. In case you didn’t know that)**
  3. **I am not ready, but I guess I have to be now. Anyway, my point is that I feel like a huge freaking idiot because I didn’t say I wouldn’t out you. I guess I thought that was obvious, but I want to make it perfectly clear so:**



**Bram, your secret is safe with me. I won’t tell anyone.**

**Sorry for the longest ever message.**

**I know you’re at tryouts! Um... I’m sitting my parents down  and I guess I just have to do it.**

**Bram! Okay... it’s okay. They know and it’s alright. I promise I’ll leave you alone now.**

I smile to myself. 

**I get the not being ready thing, I really, really do. (My mother outed me to my father before I got here and we still don’t talk about it. He said we could wait till I’m ready, because I had my choice taken away but I don’t think I’ll ever be ready.**

**Thank you for keeping my secret.**

**I’m glad it went well.**

***

Leah and Abby march Simon to and from every class the next day. Leah gives everyone the stink eye. Simon is really skittish though, he’s usually animated but today he hides in his hoodie. He doesn’t make eye contact either. 

And even though Simon and I had this big conversation yesterday, even though he looks like someone kicked his puppy, I can’t make my mouth work. So, I blast his phone phone with gifs of cute animals at lunch. 

Like, ten gifs all at once. Then another dozen. 

When his phone starts buzzing he startles and almost drops his phone. His face splits into this huge grin, and it’s the first time he’s shown any emotion all day. 

**Simon: you might have just saved my life**

**Bram: Honestly, I’d probably do anything to see you smile again.**

**Simon: anything?**

**Bram: ...**

Simon darts his eyes over to me, and it’s another first for the day, because he holds eye contact as he taps his screen. 

I’m pretty sure my whole face is red. My phone buzzes in my hand. I’m reluctant to look away, but curiosity gets the best of me. 

**Simon: just seeing your name in my notifications makes me smile**

“Hey!” Leah elbows Simon, “who the hell is texting you?” 

Simon blushes, looking back down at the table, but it’s not the blank stare he’s had all day. His face is filled with color and his eyes are lit up. 

“Well,” Abby smiles, “I hope they keep doing whatever it is that’s making you smile again.” 

***

Sometimes our texts get a little flirty, and I don’t know how to feel about it. I’m still not ready to come out again. Simon’s finally getting used to being out, and I don’t want to ask him to have another Big Secret again. Because any relationship with me right now would be a secret. 

If he actually likes me. Maybe Simon Spier is a flirt. 

That would break my heart. 

**Simon: you are totally a Ravenclaw!**

**Bram: Because I’m smart?**

**Simon: _Because_ you are a freaking genius **

**Simon: and I bet you have this whole awesome world in your head. You spend all this time quietly smiling at whatever is happening then when you speak it’s like the secrets of the freaking universe come spilling out**

**Bram: I think you’re giving me too much credit.**

**Simon: I doubt it. Well, know this Bram, whatever inside jokes you have with yourself I’d like to be in on them.**

**Bram: I’ll make sure to text you all my private secrets to the universe from now on.**

 ***

**Bram: I should be....**

**Bram: writing my essay, but I’d rather write to you.**

**Simon: welcome to the Procrastination Party**

**Bram: What kind of activities are there?**

**Simon: I’m so glad you asked: you can stare off into space, do literally anything aside from that assignment that’s totally due tomorrow (there isn’t even an assignment due tomorrow Bram... OMG IS THERE?) or daydream about cute boys.**

**Simon: i suggest the cute boys option**

**Bram: I only know of one cute boy... (and it’s the essay that’s due next week.)**

**Simon: OMG BRAM GREENFELD HAS A CRUSH**

**Bram: ...**

**Simon: I don’t know Bram, day dreaming about boys is a very serious business you should only do it with boys you really like. Boys who have problems with sentence fragments. Boys who go to WaHo with you. Hufflepuff boys.**

**Bram: ...**

**Bram: I wouldn’t worry about me daydreaming about boys, I have a _very_ specific type. **

**Bram: I’m not kidding.**

***

Months pass and my life falls into a routine. English spent on the couch with my friends. (I, Bram Louis Greenfield, have a group of friends.) Lunch sending Simon texts and occasionally talking to Nick and Garret about soccer. I’m still the quiet one, but that’s okay. I like just taking it all in. After school I have practice and most Friday’s we all pile into a booth at Waffle House. That’s how we tend to spend most of our time: crammed into too-small spaces. Like he world can’t take all of us at once, but we don’t care. 

Dinner with dad and Rachel, homework and texting Simon until my phone screen starts to hurt my eyes. 

Pretty soon I’ve got a playlist of all his favorite songs on my phone and I’m very-much in love with Simon Spier. 

**Bram: I think I’m ready to Come Out to my Dad and Stepmom (well, stepmom, dad already knows but ready to talk about it with them).**

**Simon: I am so freaking proud of you!**

**Simon: It’ll be okay Bram. They love you.**

**Simon: how do you feel?**

**Bram: Nauseated.**

**Simon: Please text me after**

**Simon: So I know you’re okay**

**Bram: I will**

**Simon: Or call**

**Simon: if you want**

I smile to myself, and however this goes I’m going to call him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you thank you thank you to anyone who read/left kudos/left comments   
> <3


	3. Second Time's the Charm?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WaHo "rescues" and Prince Charming

Dad and Rachel are sitting on the couch, it’s Friday so we’ll go out to eat in an hour or so.

**Bram: I can’t do it.**

**Bram: It’s Friday, so I won’t even have school as a buffer tomorrow if this goes badly.**

**Simon: you don’t have to come out, if you’re not ready no one is going to judge you, but if you’re ready you can Bram.**

**Simon: and I’ll be your buffer. If it goes badly I’ll come rescue you and we can go to WaHo, I’ll even enlist the whole Squad.**

**Bram: Thank you.**

I’m not sure what to do with my hands, so I kind of force myself into a public speaking mindset. Arms to the sides, good posture, a forced sort of smile.

“Hey, can we talk about something?”

Rachel puts her book down and leans forward. She looks a little concerned and something about it makes me realize: my dad really didn’t tell her. She has no idea what I’m about to say.

My dad has this almost proud glint in his eyes as he says, “Go ahead.”

Rachel glances at my dad then back at me.

“I’m gay.”

I hold my breath and slip my hand into my pocket, so I can grip my phone. It steadies me, as if the phone itself is tied to Simon. In a way, it is.

Rachel’s face slips into a kind smile, she stands and puts both her hands on my shoulders. She’s shorter than me, just by a little, but she has to look up into my eyes.

“I just want you to be happy,”

And the way she always acts around me makes sense now. I think Rachel is trying to cram seventeen years of motherhood in all at once. Maybe she isn’t just showing off for my father, maybe she just wants this part of family too.

I pull her into a hug, and she lets out a little gasp then hugs me back.

“thank you.” I’m about to cry.

She hugs me closer.

**Bram: it went well, no rescue required. We’re about to go out to eat.**

**Simon texts back a clapping gif**

***

When I get back home it’s only nine, so I make an excuse about homework and sit on my bed staring at my phone. We always text. And maybe I should just want until tomorrow for this but there’re butterflies in my stomach and I still feel happy from how they reacted.

I feel the bravest I’ve ever been at this moment.

I click the little phone symbol next to Simon’s name and practically hold my breath as I wait.

He picks up on the second ring.

“Bram!” he’s a little breathless.

“Hi.” I smile to myself, “what’s up?”

“I just threw myself across the bed for the phone. Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” I grin at the image of Simon sitting on his bed and panicking when I dial, “It went great.”

“I’m so happy for you.”

“I was actually wondering if that WaHo rescue only counted if it went badly.”

“My Prince Charming services are available regardless of Coming Out conditions.” I can hear him smiling though the phone.

“how’s WaHo tomorrow for breakfast?”

“what time?” Simon asks.

“Ten?”

“It’s a date.”

I swallow, “is it?” I breathe.

“Do you want it to be?” He sounds nervous.

“Yes.”

***

When I slide into Simon’s car the next morning he greets me with a smile and hands me his phone so I can pick the music. Elliott Smith is currently playing.

At WaHo we both order waffles and Simon gets coffee, then he bites his lip and looks at me.

“A date, huh?”

“yeah,”  I gulp, “I wanted to ask you out a long time ago, but… but  I wasn’t ready to be out yet and I didn’t want to ask you to keep it a secret.”

“I would,” Simon responds immediately, “I mean I _want_ to all-caps text the group chat that I, _Simon Spier_ , got a date with this adorable soccer star but if you need time I can wait.”

“I’m all in,” I tell him, “if you are.”

“all in… like boyfriends?”

Simon starts to scoot in closer, but the waiter arrives, and I startle away from him. It’s an accident but we’re both blushing and Simon starts shoveling waffles into his mouth.

WaHo is mostly empty, and we’re in a corner booth so I slide back over to him. He stops mid-chew and looks at me.

_“I want to hold your hand,” Simon says softy._

_“So hold it.”_

_And he does._

We eat our waffles awkwardly one handed and talk about everything we missed in the texts.

***

“Do you want to come in?” I ask when Simon pulls up at my house, “my parents are out for the day.”

He nods and follows me to the door. On the doorstep is a cardboard box with a Georgia return address. I stop to stare at it and Simon takes my hand again, squeezing it twice.

“hey, everything okay.”

“It’s from my mo—Georgia.”

“oh.” Simon squeezes my hand once more lets go and bends down to pick the box up, “I’ll carry it in for you.”

“Alright,” and I fumble with my keys and lead him through the house to my room. He stops to look at a couple pictures and then he’s standing in the middle of my room, holding the box.

“wow,” he looks around, “you’re so neat. My room is a wreak.”

I laugh but it’s airless.

“um, you can set it anywhere.”

Simon nods and puts the box at the end on my bed and hugs me, “Do you want to be alone right now?”

“Definitely not.” I hug him tighter.

We end up on my bed, Simon’s legs draped over my lap as he plays with my fingers, chopped playing in the background. Neither of us play much attention.

“So,” I ask eventually, “when did Nora start getting obsessed with cooking again?”  

“About three more episodes in.” Simon takes his glasses off and leans over me to set them on the bedside table.

“I can change it to something else,” I say.

“no, no,” he mumbles, “my eyes are just tired.”

And he rests his head on my shoulder and we stay like that for some time.

Until I’m blinking my eyes open and Simon has his arms thrown around me. I turn to look at him, he’s got his glasses back on.

“Looks like I wasn’t the only tired one.”

“Treading water is exhausting.”

Simon frowns and pulls me closer, “Still?”

I look at where our legs are tangled together, at Simon’s arms around me, then the box all the way at the end of my bed.

“No,” I look up, “I’ve just found my shore.”

Then I stand up and pick the box up off the floor and set it on my desk. Simon sits up, looking unsure of himself.

I hold my hand out, and he gets up to take it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again I have taken some almost verbatim words from SVTHSA:  
> “I want to hold your hand,” Simon says softy.  
> “So hold it.”  
> And he does.  
> (because this is just perfect...there isn't a better not-outing your SO/getting consent scene... really.)
> 
> Thank you to everyone who's reading and commenting and leaving Kudos! It really motivates me to work on this!  
> I have work later today, so either the next chapter will be up in an hour or two or it won't be up until Monday.   
> <3


	4. The Box

The box is mostly books.

There’s his old soccer jersey, a binder full of old school work (that’s probably just going to get tossed), and a manila folder marked “legal”.

My first thought is that she shipped my social security card and birth certificate in a freaking box. But it’s just a slip of paper that says she’s given up custody of me. It’s not anything more than what’s already happened but it’s official.

I set the paper down on my desk and stare at it. Simon’s still behind me and he wraps his arms around me and reaches over to put it back in the folder.

I start shaking, and then the tears pour over and I can’t stop it. Simon just hugs me and whispers that it’ll all be okay.

And even though I feel like my world just got ripped away, again, I believe him. Because he’s standing behind me holding me up.

***

My plan was for Simon to leave _before_ Dad and Rachel got home, but when the front door opens Simon and I are sitting on my bedroom floor and he’s holding onto me.

My Dad shouts “Bram! Are you home? Whose car is in the driveway?”

I don’t answer him, and they make their way to my room. The door is wide open, so they can see us from the hallway. Simon smiles sheepishly up at them and Rachel gasps and puts her hand over her mouth.

“Sweetie?” she asks, coming to sit on the floor near us.

Simon reaches up and hands the “legal” folder to her.

She looks at it, confused and says, “but your father already has all your legal documents.”

It’s a relief I won’t have to go back to Georgia to get them someday.

“It’s not that kind of legal document,” My voice is hoarse, and Simon rubs my arm reassuringly.

Rachel’s eyes widen knowingly, and she hands it up to my dad. She gives Simon a look and he lets go of me. My stomach drops, until Rachel leans over and pulls me into a hug. I’m out of tears by now, so I just hug her back.

***

We make it to the kitchen not long after, Simon trailing nervously behind me.

“So,” Rachel looks at Simon, “is there something you wanted to tell us?”

I rub the back of my neck, and take Simon’s hand, “Simon these are my parents, Dad, Rachel, this is Simon… my boyfriend.”

Rachel’s eyes literally light up when I say ‘parents’ then she’s hugging Simon.

She’s very hugy today.

“How long?” my dad asks.

“Um,” Simon blushes, “like seven hours.”

***

After Simon goes home Rachel and my dad eye each other nervously then sit me down at the counter.

“Bram, we realize this is poor timing,” My dad starts.

“But…” Rachel takes a deep breath, “We were at a doctor’s office today, and…”

“We’re pregnant.”

***

**Bram: Please distract me…**

The three little dots pop up and go away again and again until he finally responds.

**Simon: ‘we’re pregnant’ is probably the WORST phrase. They aren’t pregnant, just your stepmom is… UNLESS omg Bram what if they’re both pregnant. Like, your dad knocked your step mom up then got… I don’t know… abducted by aliens so your going to have a little fetus sibling AND a little alien sibling. Unless the aliens take it back.**

**Simon: Also, that sounds a lot like trying to come out, I guess telling someone you’re pregnant is the straight person equivalent of coming out. Is that why your step mom was hugging everyone so much?**

**Simon: not that hugs are bad, my family is very hug oriented. I mean I’m affectionate**

**Bram: Is it knocking up if your forty and married? And I’m kind of picturing the Saturday morning kind of abductions, the ones that are funny and totally not traumatizing. So that’s entertaining. Thank you for making me feel better.**

*******

At 5:03 PM on Sunday Bram Greenfeld is no longer single on facebook.

At 5:12 PM on Sunday Simon Spier is no longer single on facebook.

At 5:13 PM Bram’s phone buzzes and lights up with a call from one Simon Spier, his _boyfriend_.

***

On Monday I get to class early and save Simon a seat on the couch. We just sit next to each other, blushing and reading off the same copy of _The Awakening._ We’re pressed together, but everyone on the couch is so no one notices. We text all day though, and I’ve got the biggest smile on my face.

***

Garret shares third period with me, so I pull him aside before we go to lunch.

**Simon: I miss you sooooo much <3**

**Bram: I know… we should never be forced to spend more than an hour apart. Ever.**

Somehow the joke makes it easier.

“Are you going to tell me what girl you’ve been secretly crushing on?” Garret asks, “is she going to be at the lunch table, man, we really won’t have room now.”

My heart beats a little quicker.

“Not girl.” My phone buzzes again, “I’m gay.”

Garret freezes for a second then he laughs and throws his arm around my shoulders, “I’m oblivious, aren’t I?” he grins at me.

***

At lunch Simon holds my hand under the table.

Abby leans forward, and shout-whispers, “I can’t take it anymore! What is going on between you two?”

**Simon: Do we tell them?**

**Bram: All in.**

“There’s nothing _going on_ between us,” Simon rolls his eyes and texts me a heart emoji under the table.

“I’ll have you know,” I add, looking into Simon’s gorgeous eyes, “my boyfriend and I are very happy together.”

All the girls at the table break into coos, except Leah, who reaches over me to ruffle Simon’s hair.

Garret whistles at us (which makes Simon blush even harder).

Nick says, “Nice job, Greenfeld.”

And it’s funny, because I guess this is me coming out to the whole table, except Garret, and… I’m totally fine.

***

 

On Tuesday I get to Simon’s locker before lunch and when he greets me I lean against the locker next to him and say, “Do you want to go somewhere?”

He shuts his locker and his eyes are full of secrets. We get into my car and I drive us off campus, to Publix. When I park Simon’s mouth quirks up.

“I’m going to admit, Abraham, this wasn’t what I was expecting.

I buy us Oreos and milk and we eat them in back in the car. Right before we have to head back Simon leans over timidly and puts a hand on my shoulder.

He tastes like Oreos when he kisses me, but his lips are soft and my whole body feels pleasantly warm for the rest of the day.

***

I float through the week in a happy bubble. Simon and I hold hands under tables, constantly text, and even though we never touch if someone can see us we eyefuck all day long. And Simon seems to know every single hidden corner of Creekwood because he’ll periodically grab me from the hallway and a second later we’re alone and his mouth is on mine.

***

Saturday Simon picks me up again and this time we go to his house.

“Are you sure, my family is kind of crazy.”

“You’ve met my family.” I point out, “and my stepmom spent the whole-time hugging everyone.”

He nods once and opens the front door.

He really wasn’t joking. His mom and dad are sitting on the couch, his dad is shouting at a football game, his mother is calmly reading notes, and Nora calls “the tea infused, Oreo cream, puffs aren’t fluffy enough!” from the kitchen.

A college age blonde girl runs down from the stairs, and shouts back “they’ll be fine, Nora.”

I laugh and Simon pulls me into the house. Mr. Spier mutes the TV and leans forward, Ms. Spier drops her notepad (her papers spill out over the floor and Biber starts running in circles over them) and the blonde girl disappears into the kitchen, tugging a flour-coated Nora out behind her.

Nora is somehow the calmest. She doesn’t seem to care that she’s meeting me covered in flour.

“Oh, hi Bram.” She smiles.

Simon shoots her a thank you smile, “This is my boyfriend, Bram. That’s my mom and dad, that’s Alice and you already know Nora.”

Simon’s mom gets up and shakes my hand, “we’ve heard so much about you!”

“Mom!” Simon’s face turns red and he looks away.

“It’s nice to meet you Ms. Spier.”

She smiles, “oh you’re so polite, please call me Emily.”

Mr. Spier gets up from the couch and gives Emily this look. She shakes her head and pulls Simon away. Everyone follows her into the kitchen.

“Mom…” Simon says.

Mr. Spier shoos him into the kitchen with a gesture then he turns to me and pulls me into a big bear hug. I’m so shocked I just kind of stand there. Until my brain starts working and I remember that I’m trying to impress Simon’s family. So, I hug him back.

“Call me Jack,” he grins, “thank you for making Simon happy. I would threaten to make your life miserable if you ever broke his heart,” he slings his arm around me and starts walking me to the kitchen, “but I’m pretty sure you’ll have to deal with Leah first.”

***

After three hours of the bachelor and weirdly good tea infused Oreo cream pastries Simon finally manages to excuse us.

Emily shouts “keep the door open” as we disappear up the stairs.

Please tell me my dad didn’t give you some sort of boyfriend speech, you know, ‘if you hurt him I’ll break your legs’ because my dad is like, the biggest softie, I don’t think he could break your legs. As an example.”

“My legs?” I look at him, “why would—”

“I don’t know! It’s what popped into my head because you need legs to play soccer!”

“No, he actually gave me a bear hug.” We’re in his room now, and he wasn’t kidding it’s a wreak. But his bed is made so we sit on that.

“That’s worse.”

“I’ll take a bear hug over broken legs anytime.”

“Threatening to break your legs,” Simon clarifies, “as we’ve established my dad is a huge softie.”

The door is open, but I can hear the TV downstairs, so I lean over and kiss his neck. Simon blinks at me, then he leans forward and kisses me. It’s not like our first kiss, or the times when he pulls me into deserted corners of Creekwood; it’s fast and desperate and the feeling sinks through my whole body.

I reach up to tangle my hand in his hair and he moans into my mouth. Actually moans. And the sound vibrates on my lips. We slide down until we’re horizontal and I’m on top of him, practically in his lap. I start to kiss down his neck, then farther, until the neckline of his t-shirt is blocking me. I let go of his hair to slide my hand down to his waist while I suck on his collarbone.

He cups my face and starts to pull me up again, but before he can kiss me his phone buzzes. We both break away to look at it:

**Alice: Mom is heading upstairs**

**Simon: Thanks Paul Revere**

We let go of each other and by the time his Mom peeks into the open door we’re holding hands, but a parent appropriate distance from each other, and Simon’s half-way through a story. He’s gesturing with his free hand, doing voices, the whole works.

He’s told me this story before, but his mom doesn’t know that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that this Fic is set in California, and that Bram and Simon have to worry about homophobia way less than they do in-canon BUT I'm still keeping the PDA at minimum (for now) because Bram's still a little skittish, due to the circumstances he's in, and Simon's all about Bram's comfort. 
> 
> There's ONE MORE chapter. It'll be up late on Monday :) 
> 
> Thank you for reading <3


	5. Monkey's

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm posting this a little earlier than I expected.

Martin Addison is this geeky kid but somehow all the jocks and theater kids love him so he never really gets made fun of. He’s like the class clown, but everyone has determined you laugh with Martin, not behind his back.

I never paid Martin much attention until I saw Martin Addison and Simon in the same room. There’s always a forced smile plastered over Simon’s face when Martin is in the room. The kind of smile that leaves Simon’s gorgeous grey eyes cold. Whenever Martin makes a joke Simon shifts around in his seat and avoids the conversation.

No one ever notices, even though this has been happening as long as I’ve been here. Even though there isn’t anyone else he acts that way around. 

It’s honestly pretty rare that I end up anywhere near Martin. Just a couple odd occasions in the halls, or when other theater kids stop by to talk drama with Simon and Abby.

Until the week before the play starts. Simon and Abby miss lunch Monday and Tuesday, but on Wednesday they show up for the last ten minutes. Abby is chattering happily with Martin while Simon trails behind them. His hands are stuffed into his pockets, and his shoulders are hunched over slightly as he blankly watches the ground.

“Your eyes are so grey!” Leah exclaims.

Simon musters a real smile for a second before Martin plops himself down next to Garrett. Simon slides in next to me, then Abby after him. He stays a few inches away from me and drums his fingertips on the table.

It’s not like we’re usually all over each other, but he usually sits pressed against me (the table is packed after all, it’s only sensible to conserve space) and we almost always hold hands under the table, or brush fingertips over knees as we text back and forth. Simon’s phone is no where to be found.

I nudge his knee under the table. He peeks up at me and for a moment his eyes light up. It’s breathtaking. How dramatically the grey is brought out by the eyeliner. If we weren’t in a crowded lunchroom...

Martin laughs and Simon looks away, the light flickering out.

I don’t really know what to do. I mean, the limited PDA is something he does to make me comfortable but it goes both ways. He’s making a point to put all discrete physical contact between us out of reach. I’m not going to push him, and I can’t ask him because his phone is tucked away.

Stranding Simon in his isolated bubble of misery isn’t a solution though.

Before I can figure out what to do, Martin leans across the table, his mouth quirking up into a half-smirk.

“How did you end up in California, Bram?” Martin asks.

“My dad lives here,” I say.

“And?” He pushes.

“I came out to my mom,” I make myself shrug, “It didn’t go well.”

Abby frowns and pats my shoulder reassuringly.

Leah says, “I’m sorry...”

I don’t think I’ve ever heard her apologize. Before I can respond Martin is talking again.

“I guess you and Spier have rough coming out’s in common then.”

The whole table freezes and Simon’s hand kind of twitches then his shoulders hunch and he stops drumming his fingers and presses his arms to his sides and holds he edge of the table.

“You know, I would never guess you guys are together.” Martin eyes the distance between us, then focuses on Simon, “I guess your boyfriend isn’t a fan of the way you drape yourself all over the place.”

This is the longest I’ve ever heard Martin Addison speak. I know his voice. And I finally get it. Why Simon is sitting farther away from me than usual. Why his hands are on the table and he’s drawing the least attention to us as possible.

Martin Addison outed Simon, and now he’s terrified Martin is about to use our relationship like he used the fact that Simon is gay.

And I have no clue why Martin would out Simon, or what the hell led to that, but this second it doesn’t really matter.

I slide a little closer to Simon, not close enough that we’re touching but closer, and lean forward. I make my voice low and steady and stare straight into Martin Addison’s eyes.

“I recognize your voice, Martin Addison, and I’ve had a long time to mull over exactly what I’d like to say to you.”

His eyes go wide.

“You have two choices, either you can leave Simon the fuck alone. That means you don’t talk to him, you don’t make jokes about him, and you don’t ever, ever, share another person’s confidential information without their explicit consent. Or, I can get up right now and go to Ms. Albright and the Vice Principal and report that I know exactly who snuck into the front office and blasted a hilarious hate crime over the school’s announcement system.”

I lean all the way back and rest my arm over the top of the chair. It’s Simon’s choice if he wants the contact, but I’m right here. Simon closes the distance between our legs and reaches up to hold my hand, bringing my arm an inch down so it’s draped over his shoulders.

Martin stares at me, open mouthed, until Leah snaps, “You heard the man.”

And Abby says, “What the hell is wrong with you?”

That does it, Martin jolts up and rushes out of the cafeteria.

“Oh my god, he never seemed homophobic about Leah and I!” Abby’s eyes are watering, “I’m so sorry I didn’t know! Are you okay Simon?”

Simon squeezes my hand and nods, “He isn’t homophobic...”

“Um,” Nick raises his eyebrows, “he outed you. I understood that correctly, right?”

“Yeah,” Simon shifts uncomfortably, “he was trying to get me to do something... and I didn’t so...”

“Martin was freaking blackmailing you?” Leah hisses, starting to stand up, “I’m going to the Vice principal’s right freaking now.”

“Don’t,” Simon frowns, “I don’t want this to be a big deal. I just want him to leave me alone.”

“You could have told us,” Abby says.

“I—I wasn’t out when he was blackmailing me, and after I told him to leave me alone, and he did for the most part. It was just when we’re in theater or whatever.”

“What was he blackmailing you for?” Nick asks.

“My part in the play...”

“So that’s why you guys switched...” Abby says at the same time Leah says;

“If you switched then why did he out you?”

Well... I think he wanted the part to get closer to you, Abby. I think he wanted me to like, split you two up or something.”

Leah stands up, “I’m going to go beat him up.”

Abby takes her hand and pulls her back down, “we’ve already established that we’d go to Ms. Albright or the Vice Principal. You getting suspended isn’t going to do anything helpful.”

“Martin having a black eye would be useful.”

Simon is playing with the fraying fabric on my jeans, “Let’s all take a deep breathe,” I say, “it’s Simon’s choice what we do.”

Simon looks up, “Please, can we just drop this?”

Everyone nods.

“Did you?” Abby asks after a minute.

“Did I what?” Simon says.

“Try to... you know mess with Leah and I?”

Simon swallows, “Honestly, I thought about it for all of three seconds, but no. I’m not going to fuck up my best friend’s life to keep a secret I’m not even ashamed of.”

***

Friday is the official production of the play, but Leah and I have both seen it two times already. We went to all the rehearsals. I was going to ask Garret to go with me, but Leah mentioned she was going and Leah and I don’t usually hang out. It ended up being really fun.

At least Leah has a bit of an excuse to see it three times, Abby’s a lead. But I don’t care that Simon doesn’t have any speaking lines.

When the curtains close and everyone starts clapping my phone buzzes.

**Simon: My parents won’t be home tonight ;)**

**Bram: Keep the eyeliner on.**

**Simon: So you _did_ like the eyeliner on Wednesday **

***

Leah and I stay to help break down the set, no one seems to care that Leah and I aren’t theater kids. In fact, most of the theater kids seem to be under the impression that Leah _is_ in theater.

When the set is broken down I drive us back to Simon’s. It’s so strange to be in his house without all the noise. Alice was only here the one time, but Simon’s family is loud. They all buzz around, talking to each other and watching reality TV. The empty house is strange, but exciting because Simon leads me up to his room and he closes the door this time. Even though his parents are out.

He flicks the light on and I notice his room is slightly more organized than last time. He smiles mischievously.

“I love your moon grey eyes,” I say, then before he can respond I’m kissing him.

Simon hooks his fingers into the belt loops on my jeans and tugs me as close as possible. I walk backwards with him until he topples onto the bed.

We break apart when he falls, and he laughs, his eyes are so, so, happy. Simon reaches up and grabs my shoulders, then I’m falling onto the bed too and we’re kissing again. It’s sloppy, because neither of us can stop smiling.

“This is how we were last time,” Simon whispers.

“mmhm,” I hum into his mouth, and start kissing down his jaw to his neck. When I get to his collarbone I say into his skin, “I think _this_ is how we were, actually,”

“yeah,” he’s breathless.

***

Simon’s head is resting on my chest, and he’s playing with my hair.

“Si?”

“Are you coming to the game on Saturday?”

Simon moved so that his chin is propped on my chest and he can look into my eyes, “Of course, I have to obnoxiously cheer you on.”

“You know what would make it even more obnoxious?”

“What?”

“Wearing my jersey.”

Simon’s eyes sparkle and he crawls up, he presses him lips to mine and whispers, “You’ll never get it back.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the book, Simon is motivated by keeping Blue’s secret and Abby and Nick aren’t together yet. Simon also thinks Leah is in love with Nick and that Abby and Nick getting together will screw up the group dynamic. In this story, Abby and Leah are already together, the group dynamic is established with them dating and it’s only his secret.  
> Also, Simon still tells Martin off, but this is Bram’s POV and he wasn’t there for it. AND since Martin outed Simon at school, not on Tumblr, the staff is already looking into it. 
> 
> Anyway: This is it! Thank you for reading and extra <3's to anyone that left kudos +/ comments.


End file.
